Five years and a day ago, I gave my heart to someone. I wasn’t lonely, and I really didn’t need anybody. I was just happy minding my own business and doing my thing, not worrying about someone else but myself. But one day, someone came along and gave me something nice to look forward to everyday. Showing up out of nowhere, it seemed as if it was his job to make me happy. I found not only a meantime friend, but someone who seems like a keeper. I was swept off my feet, and that’s just something that a normal girl like me would smile about. I felt special and taken care of, most especially, needed and loved. It just felt like we were so right for each other. I started feeling the same way and I wanted to do all that for him in return. I wanted to make him feel special. I wanted to take care of him. I wanted to let him know that I needed him. I wanted to love him.
Why I love him…
I love him because he loves me. He accepted me despite of my imperfections and incapabilities. For once, he proved to me that not all men are the same, that he was different. He makes me smile with just the little sweet things that he does.
Why I can’t stand him sometimes…
He forgets. Easily. It’s not that he breaks some promises, but he forgets some promises he makes. Sometimes it’s also very hard to get through him.
Why we’re perfect together…
In whatever mess we put ourselves into, we still manage to put everything back together.
How it all went wrong…
I kept my heart away to anyone else who tried to come close. I took my friends and family for granted because I thought he was enough to keep me alive and happy. I’ve loved him more than anyone and anything. My world started to revolve around him, thinking that I could never find other form of love like the one that he can give me. I depended on him for everything – love, happiness, security, and friendship. I kept thinking to myself that without him, I am nothing. I loved him too much. I dedicated my life and time to who he is and what he wants, while completely forgetting who I am and what I want. His happiness mattered more to me than my own. I’ve always known what I was doing wrong, I don’t know why I haven’t done anything about it. Maybe because I was secretly hoping for the same in return. But that’s not reality. The reality of things is that you can love however the way you want to love, but you will not be loved the way you choose to be loved.
How and why I wanna make it right…
I already have.
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